play excerpt

by Michelle Tyrene Johnson

Chasing Breadcrumbs

(A full-length comedy. That’s dead serious.)

Chasing Breadcrumbs was developed at Local Theater Company’s Local Lab in Boulder, Colorado (Pesha Rudnick, Founding Artistic Director, Nick Chase and Betty Hart, Co-Artistic Directors, Kate Gipson, Executive Director, Misha S. Zimmerman, Executive Producer)

CAST OF CHARACTERS

SERENA: 30s, Black woman, a NYC playwright, from North Carolina

GWEN: 30s, Black woman, a literary agent, and her bestie from North Carolina

KEVIN: 30s, Black man, gay, an actor and SERENA’s brother

REBECCA: 50s, White woman, rich patron and wannabe actress

DEBBIE: middle-aged White woman, ditzy socialite

PEYTON: middle-aged White woman, observant socialite

ANDREA: stage manager (double cast with PEYTON)

JACKIE: director (double cast with DEBBIE)

PLACES

Park bench

Apartment living room of SERENA and KEVIN

Sunroom of REBECCA’s house

Rehearsal room

Hospital room

TIME

After the 2024 Presidential Election

[PLAYWRIGHT’S NOTE: “The Sound of Music” that is done to needle the character of KEVIN should be distinctly handled when it comes up in whatever fun combo of music / dance / physical comedy the director and the actors choose to make.]

SCENE ONE - Cat Brings In Dead Mouse

Setting: Park bench on a sunny day.

At rise: SERENA sits on a park bench. She throws breadcrumbs to unseen birds. GWEN enters in a rush and plops down beside SERENA on the bench.

GWEN: Should you be doing that?

SERENA: Doing what?

GWEN: Feeding the birds. Isn't that illegal or something?

SERENA: It might be. But a bird's gotta eat. And it's not like birds have agents to bring them food.

GWEN: I see what you did there. That's a crack about me not laying enough opportunities at your feet like stale pieces of bread.

SERENA: This bread is NOT stale.

GWEN: You’re so clever. Maybe if you wrote more comedy, I could get you more productions.

SERENA: Damn. That was a low blow. Even for an agent.

GWEN: It’s because I’m your agent—and your friend since creation—that you know I could go a lot lower. Also, be careful what you ask for.

SERENA: What’s that supposed to mean? Did you bring me breadcrumbs?

GWEN: Actually, I brought you a whole loaf of bread.

SERENA: It’s not like you to oversell something. So what’s up and what’s the catch?

GWEN: That’s not fair. When has there ever been a catch?

SERENA: I could start with the production in Utah. The one where I was expected to cut out all the curse words. Even the word damn. Damn, who doesn’t say damn? And that time (you) . . .

GWEN: I get the point. I’m a horrible person. Sue me. But I get ten percent of whatever you collect in damages.

SERENA: You’re a good person and a good agent and even a good friend. You just sometimes can’t be all three at the same time.

GWEN: Damn. Getting all serious on me.

SERENA: Gwen.

GWEN: Serena.

SERENA: Gwen.

GWEN: Serena.

SERENA: Are we just going to say each other’s names all day?

GWEN: We could.

SERENA: Why are we meeting for business here instead of at your office?

GWEN: This is your favorite spot in the city. I thought you would appreciate the fresh air.

SERENA: The real reason, please.

GWEN: Because I don't like my suitemates to hear my clients yelling at me.

SERENA: (raising her voice) I have never yelled at you.

GWEN: Excuse me?

SERENA: Correction: I have never yelled at you in the years we’ve both lived in the state of New York.

GWEN: We’re closing in on seven years together of sharing this concrete jungle. There is a first time for everything.

(GWEN gives a big sigh.)

SERENA: You're scaring me.

GWEN: Actually, I'm the one who's scared. Remember, I'm just the messenger.

SERENA: As you like to remind me, a messenger who gets ten percent of the action. So, what's up?

GWEN: Think loaf of bread. A huge loaf with lots and lots of chedda, baby.

SERENA: When you tune up the sista girl patois, I get real suspicious.

GWEN: We can take up my code-switching another time. An incredible opportunity has opened up for you.

SERENA (excited): Some big theatre wants my play? Is it an Off-Broadway opportunity? Wait. A new TV show wants me in their writers’ room, right?

GWEN: No. I would have asked you to come to my office for any of those things. I’d love to have the suitemates hear you break out into loud, spontaneous glee. Anyway, this is more of a commission opportunity.

SERENA: A commission? You know I like a good commission—getting the money before you start writing the play. Yes, ma’am, sign me up.

GWEN: As you know, not all commissions are created equal.

SERENA: So it’s a small one. That’s cool.

GWEN: No. It’s a big one. A really big one. Hey, how’s your brother doing?

SERENA: Why are you asking about Kevin? He’s fine, no major changes. I would have told you. Tell me about the commission.

GWEN: It's a lot of money. A LOT of money. Six figures.

SERENA: What! Six figures? For a play commission? You must be including the decimal point. What theater has that kind of money?

GWEN: It’s not a theater. Have you ever heard of the WWKD Society?

SERENA: Is this a joke?

GWEN: You’ve heard of them?

SERENA: The advantage of living with a news junkie is that I accidentally learn things or Kevin talks my ear off telling me things I don’t really care about.

GWEN: That “Dateline” interview significantly upped their profile.

SERENA: Like The What Would Karen Do Society needs the attention. White women with money walking that delicate line of, we’re not the lowest on the ladder but we’re only adjacent to the top rung.

GWEN: It’s a brilliant way to take back the narrative. And that’s where you come in.

SERENA: If that’s who wants to commission me for a play then that’s where I don’t come in. I don’t drive by. I don’t even want their address on my GPS.

GWEN: They want you.

SERENA: Why me? It’s not like I’m Lin Manuel Miranda or Lynn Nottage.

GWEN: They researched you.

SERENA: And they found out what exactly? That I’m the most talented writer in the allergic-to-full-time-work temp pool of the Whitman Agency? Not that I’m complaining.

GWEN: That you are known for writing edgy, complex, thought-provoking plays about race. Work that could even verge on brilliance sometimes if you gave it another draft or two.

SERENA: That last thing doesn’t sound like it came from the Karens.

GWEN: You are correct. But if there is any time I get to throw in an unsolicited note about your scripts, it’s when I’m laying a six-foot-long baguette at your feet.

SERENA: A commission I haven’t agreed to accept yet because you haven’t told me what the topic is.

GWEN: I said it was about race.

SERENA: Actually, you didn’t. Besides, I write about my race. It’s not like there’s a shortage of white people writing about white people.

GWEN: They want you to write it. They saw one of your interviews about The MyMama Chronicles production.

SERENA: You mean my off, off, way off-Broadway production that was so off the beaten track, it was a short drive to Kentucky?

GWEN: Yes. And they were touched to hear that your biggest inspiration is your brother who needs a kidney transplant.

SERENA: I could kick myself for putting Kevin's business out in the streets like that.

GWEN: It was sweet. And personal. And memorable. The Karen Society wants to connect you and Kevin to a special network of organ transplant organizations. He would be at the top of the list to get his kidney in a matter of weeks instead of having to wait indefinitely. Hell, these folks are so rich and well-connected, it could be in a matter of hours.

SERENA: Since they don’t know a damn thing about his medical status, that sounds like they’re offering up a black-market kidney.

GWEN: No. It's more like it’s a white-market kidney. It will probably come bedazzled or gold-encrusted.

SERENA: This makes no sense.

GWEN: I think it will make even less sense when I tell you what they want. Are you ready to hear the details?

END OF SCENE

SCENE TWO - Sibling’s Keeper

Setting: A cramped, Washington Heights living room.

At rise: SERENA and her brother KEVIN are sitting and talking.

KEVIN: You should have woken me up earlier to hear this.

SERENA: I'm still processing it myself.

KEVIN: And it's legit?

SERENA: I looked them up. They've been around for years, since the sixties. Besides, you saw that “Dateline” story. They keep renaming and rebranding themselves but it’s the same bottom line. Although they have tilted more liberal in some of the causes they’ve supported.

KEVIN: Rich white women aren't exactly the marginalized and downtrodden. And tilting liberal isn’t the same as being liberal.

SERENA: What matters is that they think they are.

KEVIN: Nope. It still doesn't matter what they think. They’re not.

SERENA: Kevin, you need the transplant. So, again, it matters.

KEVIN: And they happen to have a kidney just lying around like an extra futon or a set of old golf clubs?

SERENA: Gwen and the lawyer she consults with checked it out. It's a real offer.

KEVIN: Serena, you can't do this.

SERENA: It's not like they want me to rob a bank.

KEVIN: Better that than trying to rob you of your integrity.

SERENA: Saving my brother’s life robs me of nothing.

KEVIN: Don’t be so dramatic. I’m already on a transplant list.

SERENA: A transplant list that hasn’t yielded you so much as a pawn shop kidney in almost two years of waiting while you’re having to lug yourself to dialysis three times a week. Besides, one hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money to write a play.

KEVIN: You can rationalize it all you want, but you’re not for sale.

SERENA: It’s not selling out. It’s just me making up to you what I said when Mama told me I was going to be a big sister.

KEVIN: Here we go. You’re trotting that tired-ass story out again. Ahead of schedule. You said—

SERENA: I said “why did that big ball you were carrying around have to be a baby brother? I thought you were carrying around the chemistry set I wanted for Christmas.”

(KEVIN mimics his sister as she tells the tread-worn story.)

KEVIN: And I still say I’m the best Christmas present you ever got. And you were never going to get that set. Mama and Daddy thought you would blow up the house.

SERENA: If they had just bought me that chemistry set, I would have stayed in North

Carolina and had a nice safe job as a researcher or a pharmacist. Instead, I’m a poor writer living in a third-floor walk-up in New York City.

KEVIN: What’s my excuse?

SERENA: You were born an actor. The baby is always a disappointment.

KEVIN: (A beat.) I wish I wasn’t an actor. I wouldn’t have followed you here five years ago to get my big break.

SERENA: Not this again.

KEVIN: When I didn’t make it within a couple of years, I should have gone back.

SERENA: You’re right.

KEVIN: That I should have gone back home?

SERENA: That you were the best Christmas present ever. This is why Mama and Daddy would never forgive me if I had an opportunity to give you a fighting chance, and I didn’t take it.

KEVIN: You don’t owe me that. We both know I might have an easier chance to get a kidney if I went back home, but I’m not going home to die.

SERENA: Damn it. I hate it when you say shit like that. You’re not going anywhere to die and you’re not dying here. Stop making me even say the word.

KEVIN: When this diabetes lost its mind and took over my body, I knew that no matter what happened, I wasn’t going to crawl back to North Carolina to have my elderly parents take care of me when they had just retired from taking care of white folks their whole lives. Nothing you say changes that.

SERENA: You are so damn stubborn. And you better not have them hear you call being in their sixties, elderly. If you’re not going back home and you’re staying here, then I’m getting us a bigger apartment and getting you a gently used kidney.

KEVIN: Sis, Mama and Daddy don’t even need to know about this. Just say no to the white flight ladies and this will stay between us. A kidney will turn up and they will be none the wiser.

SERENA: But what if it doesn’t?

KEVIN: Since it's an organ for me on the bargaining table, shouldn't I have a say?

SERENA: I can’t make you accept a kidney thrown at us by the Becky Brigade, but—

KEVIN: The Karen Cutoffs.

SERENA: The Pink Pussycat Barbie Dolls.

KEVIN: The Handmaiden Snails.

SERENA: The Hotep Haters.

KEVIN: The KKK Minus Two K’s club.

SERENA: Okay. Now that’s not fair. There’s absolutely no reason to think these folks are on the wrong side of history. At least I haven’t found any signs of it. They’re just trying to make the Keeping Karen Cool Club.

KEVIN: How can I talk you out of this? Isn’t there anything more I can say to get you to change your mind? Getting one hundred K extra in New York City ain’t exactly winning the lottery.

SERENA: You’re right. But after taxes, it’s more than enough to move, have a little cushion, and send Mama and Daddy a few bucks.

KEVIN: They won’t take it.

SERENA: Yeah they will. I’ll just tell them I hit the numbers. Daddy will like that.

KEVIN: And Mama won’t believe it.

SERENA: Kev, just work with me. It’s not that big a deal.

KEVIN: It is.

SERENA: Not that I need your permission, but so that I don’t have to keep hearing you run your mouth, how about I ask for a meeting with them and then I’ll make a decision after that.

KEVIN: A decision that’s a no.

SERENA: Are you going to agree to stop hounding me about this until after the meeting, or not? Because if I still have to hear the shit, I’m going to just get it over with and say yes. And if you keep flapping your gums about it, I don’t want to have to go there, but The Sound of Music it will be.

KEVIN: Whatever. That tired shit doesn’t work on me anymore.

SERENA: It’s worked on you since you were eight years old and Mama used to drag us to the bingo parlor where they played that movie non-stop in the kiddie room. But, hey, since it doesn’t bother you anymore, congrats on your growth. (singing) “Doe, a deer, a female deer—”

KEVIN: Damn! You play dirty.

SERENA: Big sister privilege, boo boo.

(KEVIN makes the gesture of locking his mouth shut.)

END OF SCENE

SCENE THREE - The Devil You Don’t Know

Setting: An enclosed sun porch of a family that has money to burn.

At rise: SERENA and GWEN, enter to sit on a fancy enclosed porch sofa. They talk as if someone will walk in on them any minute. Classic hip-hop music plays.

SERENA: (Clocking the music) Really? (Paying attention to the room.) Why does this outdoor sofa look like it costs more than all my furniture put together?

GWEN: Technically, this isn’t outdoors. It’s a sunroom.

SERENA: Which is how rich folks avoid mosquitoes.

GWEN: All the women in this group have money like this. That’s why they can offer you enough to be a baller at your corner bodega to write this play.

SERENA: I haven’t agreed yet. I promised Kevin to not make a decision until after this meet and greet.

GWEN: You’re about to promise Kevin that’s he gonna meet a new kidney soon. So he needs to sit his ass down someplace.

SERENA: You better watch it, sis. Your North Carolina is slipping out.

GWEN: Shut up.

SERENA: And if I agree to this, are you going to ask the surgeon to slice off your ten percent before the transplant?

GWEN: I’m hurt that you think so poorly of me. Obviously, I’ll calculate the cost of a pre- owned kidney and then deduct ten percent of that on top of your commission.

SERENA: You ghoul. Wait, you’re kidding, right?

(REBECCA, PEYTON, and DEBBIE enter. PEYTON wears an expensive exercise outfit or other expensive looking outfit. DEBBIE wears a casually expensive top and skirt. REBECCA wears a flowy house dress. Also expensive.)

REBECCA: Serena, Gwen, welcome! I’m Rebecca. This is Peyton. And this is Debbie.

DEBBIE: It’s so good to finally meet you in person, Serena!

GWEN: I’m Gwen, Serena’s agent. This is Serena.

DEBBIE: I’m so sorry!

PEYTON: Don’t mind her. She’s blind as a bat. It’s not that . . .

DEBBIE: Of course. I know that Gwen and Serena don’t look remotely alike.

GWEN: Not in skin tone, body type, hair.

SERENA: Dressing style, they way we move, height—

GWEN: Our temperaments, our attitude.

SERENA: How we project our rising signs, how we—

REBECCA: We get it. Not all theatre people look alike.

SERENA: Right. That’s it.

GWEN: Rebecca, why don’t you tell us about the project and how you would best want to use Serena’s considerable talents?

SERENA: It’s weird to have you talk about me like I’m not here.

GWEN: (whispering this for only SERENA to hear) And my job would be so much easier if you weren’t. (To everyone) Let’s talk about the project.

PEYTON: Let me go get the snacks to bring them out.

REBECCA: Gloria will bring them out in a few.

PEYTON: I think it would be best if I did it.

REBECCA: Really—

(PEYTON abruptly leaves the sunporch.)

What bee flew into her bonnet?

DEBBIE: I think it's because Gloria is, well, you know . . . (Trying to hide it from GWEN and SERENA, DEBBIE tries to gesture.)

REBECCA: Know what? What is it that I'm supposed to know?

SERENA: That Gloria is Black.

REBECCA: Of course Gloria is Black.

SERENA: Of course she's Black?

REBECCA: I didn't mean it like that. I merely meant that's neither new information nor a big deal.

(PEYTON enters with a tray of cookies that she awkwardly sits down. She’s used to being

served, not serving herself. )

GWEN: Those look delicious. Reminds me of the kind that the aunt I was named after used to make.

SERENA: Lemon ice box cookies with frosting. My grandma used to make those too.

REBECCA: How did you know Gloria was African-American?

SERENA: She was my mother’s best friend from childhood where they grew up in the projects.

DEBBIE: Oh what a lovely coincidence!

REBECCA: Serena is pulling our legs.

SERENA: Guilty.

DEBBIE: So your mother didn’t grow up with Gloria in the projects?

GWEN: Serena is quite the little jokester. She gets that way when she’s not focused on the matter at hand. So, let’s get back to discussing the commission.

SERENA: My mother grew up on a small farm in North Carolina.

DEBBIE: A farm?

SERENA: Not the projects. More “Green Acres” than “Good Times.”

DEBBIE: I loved that show. (Singing badly) “Green Acres is the place to be, wine living is the life for me!”

REBECCA: It’s farm living, not wine living.

DEBBIE: Really? Wine living just made more sense. Well, I loved the “Good Times” theme song too. (Singing) “We’re moving on up!”

PEYTON: That’s the theme song to “The Jeffersons.”

DEBBIE: Oh. Yeah. That’s right.

REBECCA: Let’s get back to the play.

GWEN: Yes, please.

REBECCA: Have you ever heard of Bridget McIntosh?

SERENA: I have not. Will she be joining us for the meeting today?

DEBBIE: She’s famous!

GWEN: I’ve never heard of her. But not everyone has heard of everybody. Is she the subject of the commission?

DEBBIE: Yes. She was instrumental in the Civil Rights Movement.

PEYTON: More accurately the Tennessee arm of the Civil Rights Movement.

REBECCA: Nashville, more specifically.

SERENA: Okay then.

DEBBIE: That’s exactly why we want a play about her!

SERENA: So what exactly did she do?

DEBBIE: Well . . . well . . . she marched with King!

SERENA: Marched with King.

PEYTON: Martin Luther King.

DEBBIE: Junior. The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Junior.

SERENA: I’m familiar with him.

REBECCA: (with a slight edge to her voice) Ladies, it might be more helpful if I explained the story.

PEYTON: Sure, Rebecca.

DEBBIE: Absolutely!

REBECCA: Bridget McIntosh was a housewife in Nashville, Tennessee. She was the mother of two and was married to a lawyer. She was a leader.

SERENA: What did she do?

DEBBIE: Do?

SERENA: Yes. Do in the movement. I assume she did more than march with Dr. King. Thousands of people did.

(PEYTON, DEBBIE, and REBECCA look at each other as GWEN and SERENA look at each other. Then all the women start looking at each and looking away. Except for SERENA, who unflinchingly meets everyone’s eyes.)

SERENA: I mean did she take a dog bite meant for him? Let traveling Black protestors stay in her home for free? Write a fiery letter to the editor that shook up her community? I’m just trying to get an idea of what about her merits being the subject of a play.

PEYTON: Not exactly.

GWEN: Not exactly what?

REBECCA: What she did was take a stand for Civil Rights at a time when white women weren’t known for being leaders in . . . in the movement.

SERENA: You don’t say.

REBECCA: Here, this is a picture of her marching with King. (pulling out a photo from a folder)

GWEN: That's a small photo with even smaller faces. Which one is she?

REBECCA: There.

(SERENA and GWEN lean into the photo like Mr. Magoo.)

SERENA: I see a huge crowd with a lot of faces. Most of them Black.

DEBBIE: She’s there. She talked about it for years to her family and then her family told other people. She’s a legend in her city. We want more people to hear about her.

SERENA: I really mean no disrespect to the gift horse that I’m staring right in the mouth, but . . .

REBECCA: You’re wondering why her, why this play now?

GWEN: We don’t need to wonder or worry about your reasons. Ours is not to question why—

SERENA: Except I do question. Why?

REBECCA: One of the things that most impressed me in the interview I saw of yours is how important it is for you to write stories that amplify your people.

SERENA: Yes, and—

REBECCA: And I respect that. But women are your people too. And while you are not a white woman, as one, I’m just tired of the bad rap we’re getting. And it deeply upsets me that when there are some who act up, then all white women are painted with the same brush.

SERENA: Being judged by the biases of others? I wouldn’t know anything about that.

DEBBIE: It really is awful. It makes me glad that I’m a good person who never judges others.

REBECCA: Serena is joking. Showing that same wry sense of humor she demonstrated earlier.

SERENA: I still say, why me though? There are plenty of white women playwrights who could do this.

GWEN: Reasons aren’t really important. What I think Serena is trying to say is—

SERENA: Gwen, please don’t speak for me when I’m right here and perfectly capable of speaking for myself.

REBECCA: We just want to take back the narrative. That’s all.

PEYTON: No one likes stereotypes. Or to be lumped in with other bad people who just share your skin color. It’s bad no matter who does it.

SERENA: (leaning in on the sarcasm) That bordered on sounding a little I’m (she does the air quotes for quotations) “color blind” because all lives matter and one of my best friends is Black.

DEBBIE: We just want to show that plenty of white women are good people. We’re not all a “Karen". But even if we are, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

SERENA: I don’t quite get that point. Which probably means this story isn’t mine to tell.

REBECCA: It is. If you decide it is.

GWEN: Rebecca, do you mind if we get back to you tomorrow about this?

(SERENA’s cell phone rings. It loudly plays “I’m Black Y’all” and she has trouble finding it in one of her pockets or her bag or backpack. Once she finds it, she looks worried as she looks at it.)

SERENA: Sorry, hate to be rude but I have to take this. I’ll be right back. (Speaking to the person on the other end as she exits). Just tell me straight.

REBECCA: This is going to be harder than we thought, won’t it?

GWEN: Serena is smart and very conscious. And money doesn’t move her as much as it does some of my other clients. If she can’t connect with the subject, she can’t write the script. I admire that about her.

REBECCA: And that’s why we want her. Because that’s exactly the reputation she has. Very committed to her culture, brilliant, incisive, well respected, talented, and not nearly as well known as she should be.

GWEN: I’m sorry, but she’s leaning on saying no to this.

REBECCA: Don’t be too hasty. We’ve talked and decided that $100,000 was way too low a price for the work we want. We’re willing to go to $150,000.

(SERENA enters, appearing a little anxious.)

SERENA: If you can get my brother a guaranteed spot on your kidney network list right away, I’ll sign the contract right now.

GWEN: Can we talk about this?

REBECCA: It’s a deal.

SERENA: Just like that? No board to run this past?

DEBBIE: She is the board.

PEYTON: And the executive director.

REBECCA: It’s true. My husband invented a pet poo deodorizer that has provided, let’s just say, an embarrassment of riches. So, this organization is my little project that I’ve revitalized after it was dormant for several years. It has a very important mission. Several in fact.

SERENA: I’m all in.

GWEN: Everything okay?

SERENA: Rebecca, do you have a contract already drawn up?

REBECCA: As a matter of fact, I do.

GWEN: And I have a contract too. All we have to do is change the amount. Which I can do from my phone. I’m sure there’s a printer here.

REBECCA: I don’t feel comfortable entering into a contract my attorney hasn’t reviewed.

SERENA: Then please find your attorney. Because tomorrow I may not have the same incentive. Gwen, you can take it from here. I have to run.

(SERENA exits quickly.)

END OF EXCERPT

Purchase a copy of Chasing Breadcrumbs.

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Michelle Tyrene Johnson’s work has been staged nationally in readings and productions, including at the Obie Award-winning The Fire This Time Festival in NYC, the Pork Filled Productions Unleashed Festival in Seattle, Washington, the Florida Rep PlayLab Festival in Fort Myers, Florida, the KC Repertory Theatre’s reading series and its New Works Festival in Kansas City, Missouri, and Local Theatre’s PlayLab in Boulder, Colorado where her play was selected for a full production in the following season. Her commissioned play “Only One Day A Year” was selected for the Kennedy Center’s New Visions/New Voices Festival in 2020, was the recipient of a $30,000 grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, and had its world premiere at Coterie Theatre in 2023. Johnson received her MFA in Writing with an emphasis on playwriting in May 2022 from the Naslund-Mann Graduate School of Writing at Spalding University. Johnson is a senior producer at Louisville, Kentucky’s public radio station, a writer, and a former attorney. Additionally, Johnson is a fourth-generation Kansan and a devotee of soap operas, mystery novels, real R&B music, traveling, and nice yarn. Her website is www.playwright-michelle-tyrene-johnson.com