Learning You: 5 Takeaways From My Writing Journey So Far

elichvar
Oct 23
4 min read

October 23, 2025

by Leah Henderson, faculty, writing for children and young adults

Since I debuted in 2017, I’m continuously trying to find a healthy footing in the writing world even after several books. Thankfully, along the way, I’ve paid close attention during most of my stumbles and leaps and have been able to add a few useful takeaways to my toolkit—takeaways that may be helpful to consider for anyone pursuing a career in writing, whether with a focus of writing for children and young adults or not. So here you go:

You can’t control what you can’t control. Well, of course you can’t, but before becoming a full-time writer I never really thought about things that way. Yes, a lot is out of our control in life, but I always had a more “half-full” approach to things. Basically, there could be a way through or around, and it usually started with me putting my head down, figuring out a solution, then studying and working to make it happen. I was taught that if you do the work, everything will come together.

While I still believe this to a certain extent, I also know that everything we hope for in the traditional publishing world—for ourselves and our books—might not come our way (or at least not the way we want it to). And you know what? That’s okay, because as the “half-full” part of me believes, something even better might be around the next corner. So now, I let go of what I can’t control and place my focus elsewhere.
Focus on what you can control. Another no-brainer! But I’m almost ashamed to say how often I’ve needed to remind myself of this. While no longer stressing over things I cannot control has done wonders for my mental (and physical) wellbeing, focusing on what I can control has helped me keep writing. I can control the words I chose, the stories I tell, and most importantly, the way I tell them. When I sit down to write, it is just me and the page, no one else (okay, characters too), but at that point there are no expectations (I’m listening to) but my own. And while things rarely turn out the way I envisioned before I started, I can work on my words till I get them to a place where I feel good about writing them, saying them, and sharing them.

Once that happens, then I have to take a very deep breath and be okay with letting some level of that control go, because I cannot control who will understand my words, disagree with my words, simply ignore words . . . or need them. All I can do is control that they ever got written, and that I sent them out into the world for an agent, editor, or publisher to review, hoping that someday they will reach the readers they are meant to reach.
Learn to be kind to you. Again, we should all know this. But so many times and in so many ways, we are not kind to ourselves. We are often our harshest critics. We are unforgiving of our own mistakes or of our need to take a rest, walk away, or even reach out for help. We need to remember that taking care of and being kind to ourselves is the only way we’ll get through this thing called publishing with more smiles than tears—maybe.
Learn when and what to say “yes” and “no” to. Opportunities or distractions? There are so many paths to take and directions to go when trying to get published, and none of us has a crystal ball when it comes to which projects are the most important, which will get us an agent or attention from a literary magazine or a publisher. Then, once published, which decisions will increase book sales, garner more speaking engagements, or get our work shared far and wide. Yes, there are definitely some places and opportunities that are not to be missed, but for most of us, there are lots of moments where what we should be doing is writing: sitting still and focusing on the next word.

Then there are opportunities that might not bring in the most book sales, but the opportunity itself may fill our creative well or help us to say, “I got this. Keep swimming.” We don’t always know when these life-shifting/life-building moments will happen, but as we get to know more about the writing world and about ourselves (and what we need at different times), these moments of “yes” and “no” become easier to recognize and make.
Learn you. This one will likely take a bit of time, but maybe not. Learn what you really want when it comes to your writing and the publishing world. It is different for everyone. Then work towards that. Focus on the things that you can control that will bring you closer to that want or hope. And when you come upon a hard decision that might pit you against that hope or dream, you have a compass, you have a direction. Yes, sometimes compromise is needed, but not on the most important things, the things that help you sleep, hold your head high, and fill your heart and well. Remember those things in moments of doubt. They will help guide you through.
Bonus: Embrace your community. The writing community (especially here at Spalding) is rich with friendship, knowledge, and support. Actively engage in it, because the people you meet within these spaces are the ones who will get you through the stumbles and rocky moments, and celebrate you with the sincerest applause and/or tears. We don’t have to do this thing alone. Find your people, and be open to letting them find you!

Keep swimming, everyone. This really can be an amazing journey.

Leah Henderson is the author of many critically acclaimed books for young readers including The Courage of the Little Hummingbird, The Magic in Changing Your Stars and Together We March. When Leah is not writing or teaching, she is traveling in search of discovery, stories, and understanding. You can learn more about her and her writing at www.leahhendersonbooks.com.